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Mental health.
Jun. 21st, 2013 10:59 pmWas hoping I'd managed to avoid falling into a depressive episode due to the job center's hugely intimidating new weekly requirements,, but no it hit this evening and I've been unable to do anything because I'm so worried that I can't cope with what they're asking of me.
The old agreement was I had to look at three newspapers, websites and apply to at least three jobs a week. The new one requires me to do fourteen things a week, ok so checking the job centre website daily and the newspapers add up to ten, but within that I'm required to write to two employers, phone one employer (yes, the person who has to spend hours or days building up to phoning anyone he doesn't know is expected to phone one company a week) and visit one company a week. The whole elevation in stuff seems disproportionate and is very fucking intimidating indeed.
It was all I could do to answer the question "Why do you think you haven't gotten a job?" with "Well there's 2.5 million people looking for a job and only around 700,000 jobs out there, do the fuckng maths/" But I behaved.
I've applied to four jobs since my interview Wednesday afternoon, but the feeling that whatever I do isn't going to be enough and that they'll stop my benefits and that'll be my attempt to rebuild my life over and done with is dominating my mind so much right now that I can't even sit and watch telly or play a game or anything because I feel so stressed out.
The old agreement was I had to look at three newspapers, websites and apply to at least three jobs a week. The new one requires me to do fourteen things a week, ok so checking the job centre website daily and the newspapers add up to ten, but within that I'm required to write to two employers, phone one employer (yes, the person who has to spend hours or days building up to phoning anyone he doesn't know is expected to phone one company a week) and visit one company a week. The whole elevation in stuff seems disproportionate and is very fucking intimidating indeed.
It was all I could do to answer the question "Why do you think you haven't gotten a job?" with "Well there's 2.5 million people looking for a job and only around 700,000 jobs out there, do the fuckng maths/" But I behaved.
I've applied to four jobs since my interview Wednesday afternoon, but the feeling that whatever I do isn't going to be enough and that they'll stop my benefits and that'll be my attempt to rebuild my life over and done with is dominating my mind so much right now that I can't even sit and watch telly or play a game or anything because I feel so stressed out.
